thescruffypiratedotorg

Further Trials and Tribulations of Having a Long Beard

A couple of days ago I was flossing and all of a sudden felt a large prick on my upper lip. And it didn't stop. It turns out that I had flossed one of my mustache hairs into my teeth and it was suck there! Having a long mustache is a pain in the lip!

6 May 2007 06:39pm UTC • 539 views • 11 comments

11 comments

  1. Boatswain The Fool 2

    6 May 2007 10:10pm UTC

    I had that problem once too when I had long hair. I was trying to scratch my ear, but apparently my hair had come alive, and it ate my hand.

  2. GalleyWench 86

    6 May 2007 10:58pm UTC

    Wow, I can honestly say that I hope that is NEVER a concern of mine. That sounds Awful

  3. flychipmunk 89

    7 May 2007 02:14am UTC

    I've actually used my hair as floss before...it breaks pretty easily though. Also, one time before I had armpit hair and when my head hair was long...I was taking a shower and washing my left armpit when I felt a massive amount of hair...my eyes were closed and for about thirty seconds I thought I had suddenly grown armpit hair. It was very creepy. I'm so sorry, once again, for straying off the topic, but this brings to mind many things having to do w/ hair. 1)I think this is more common w/ girls b/c our hair is generally longer...On several occasions, although not recently, I have felt a piece of hair tickling my butt and when I found the culprit and went to remove it, I discovered it was actually in my anus...did I eat a piece of hair or did it just somehow get jammed up there? I would think if I ate some hair it wouldn't come out whole in my poop. 2)I am interested in the average length of a pubic hair...so if anyone has untrimmed/unshaven pubic hair you should measure a piece of it and let me know the length in cm/mm. I'm going to measure one of mine right now...okay, I forgot that I trimmed my hair recently (which is unusual for me) and so I'm going to have to wait until it grows out again to get an accurate measurement. I did try to measure a piece though and found it to be quite difficult b/c it is curly and hard to straighten out. Maybe if I measure one that is still attached it will be easier. 3)about a year ago I grew out my armpit hair and my leg hair b/c I wanted to see how long it would get. I don't think I ever actually measured though...geez what a waste of time and having to deal w/ people giving me weird looks at the pool! 4)I'm reminded of a time when someone pulled a pube out of her mouth @ lunch in high school...gross! Has anyone else ever had a pube in his/her mouth b4? 5)my roommate has short black head hair and lots of body hair and I find it all over! It freaks me out b/c it looks like pubic hair...and really any hair that isn't my own kind of freaks me out...this seems pretty ridiculous b/c I don't think hair is that dirty...except pubic hair is a different story. 6)I get annoyed sometimes when I have to massage guys w/ really hairy legs b/c you have to use more lotion...they should have to pay extra or something. 7)My head hair used to get caught in the screws on the back of the chairs at school and when I would go to stand up or just move 10 or so hairs would get ripped out! 8) I don't like eating outside when there is a breeze b/c it blows my hair into my face and mouth. 9)My hair has gotten caught in the window of my car when I rolled it up...quite hazardous...the distraction could cause an accident.

  4. Boots 84

    7 May 2007 03:28am UTC

    I think your beard is trying to get you back for an incident involving some hot wax. You've upset the hair equilibrium, and now you must live with the consequences.

  5. Peon Peetie 38

    7 May 2007 05:00am UTC

    i miss having long hair. i'm working on growing it back. as soon as i leave the broadmoor, it shall not be cut until it's long

  6. Dread Pirate Benjamin 1

    7 May 2007 02:01pm UTC

    Flychipmuck: 2) 9.1/91. 4) No. 6) How dare you! we shouldn't have to pay more just because we don't shave our legs! 7) I am always scared of getting my chest hair/beard caught in a zipper. 8) No matter where I eat, hair gets in my mouth. I have found that bagels and sandwiches are the hardest because they are so wide.

    Boots: Unfortunately for your theory this happened before the incident with the hot wax. :(

    Peop: I'm growing out my pony tail right now! If you want to see my progress check out this photo!

  7. Dread Pirate Benjamin 1

    7 May 2007 02:02pm UTC

    I'm not sure who Peop is. But I think he is related to Peon.

  8. flychipmunk 89

    7 May 2007 04:12pm UTC

    2)That is crazy! 9.1 cm? that is really long. 6)Well, I wouldn't actually charge more. That would be like charging obese people extra b/c they take up more lotion.

  9. Sailing Master Keri 40

    7 May 2007 07:10pm UTC

    nice photo, dread pirate! i wonder who took it...

  10. Carpenter Courtney 46

    7 May 2007 07:42pm UTC

    For #2, I'm going to guesstimate that mine never grows longer than an inch and a half. I'll get to work on a precise measurement, though. Expect a further report in two months.

  11. Sailing Master Keri 40

    7 May 2007 08:37pm UTC

    In response to flychipmunck: I have used my hair as floss too. But only in very desperate situations. Unfortunately, it doesn't work very well. 1) That has happened to me too! Very weird! 2) Around 1.5 to 2 inches (I trimmed about a month ago...)and 4) Just so everyone knows, that was me. And it was quite gross!

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