How do you make changes?
I wrote this post almost two years ago. Not sure why I never posted it. I think it is still applicable though. Anyway, here it goes.
Have you ever become the worst version of yourself. That a pandora's box of all the hate, spite and condecension has sprung open?
Pop quiz readers! Where is that quote from?
Do you ever wake up and decide you don't like who you are? Well that is a little dramatic. Let's try again. Do you ever wake up frustrated with who you have become?
No one is perfect, so of course there are going to be things you would like to change. But I'm not talking about bad habits, like finger nail biting, or sleeping way to much, or eating to much, or self-control issues with the internet. I mean things you want to change about who you are.
But how do you go about changing who you are?
This brings us to the number one thing I want to change about myself. I would like to change the gut reaction that I have to most things. My gut reaction to talk of religion or god, or faith of any kind, is to stop listening. My gut reaction to most sports is to get angry and sullen (this one developed from the neighbors watching them too much, I suspect). My reaction to authority is to do the opposite of what I am told. My gut reaction to a know it all is to be a know it all. My reaction to new people in my life (or more specifically, friends of friends) is to be distrustful and irritated. I tend to be angered by people who put a lot of emphasis on family.
It is not that I particularly have a problem with how I feel. I am okay with not liking sports, or know it alls, or god, etc. That won't affect my life that much. What I am not okay with is how I react to my feelings and how my reactions affect and make others feel.
So, how do you change your gut reactions?
To conclude: It is unfortunate that the only imperfections of my being are physical and purely aesthetic. It takes lots of money for me to make any changes. Otherwise, my intellectual self and emotional self are as good as they can be. Woo hoo!
7 October 2008 12:13pm UTC • 284 views • 3 comments
Tagged with change, feelings, anger
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3 comments
Cabin Boy Farluffo
7 October 2008 01:37pm UTC
You've Got Mail (too easy). ;) That was a great post. My gut reaction to most things is anxiety. I'd change that if I could. But I'm pretty sure it'll be replaced by apathy with old age.
Hmm. And, I'd like to run faster.
Peon Peetie
7 October 2008 03:21pm UTC
i wish i stuck with things more. i tend to get real into things and then a while later move on.
actually, i take that back. that's not a bad thing. i kinda like being a jack of many trades.
i like me. i wish i could grow a beard. yeah! that's what i want to change!
The Anonymous Poppy
9 October 2008 02:13am UTC
It's difficult to say this without sounding like I'm fishing for compliments, so I'd like to preface this remark by saying that I'm totally not fishing for compliments. At all.
I don't really like anything about myself. Do you ever wake up and decide you don't like who you are? Pretty much ever day. Well that is a little dramatic. Really? I don't think so. I guess I think more about this when I'm depressed, but even when I'm "up" I don't really like anything about myself. I just don't dwell on it as much. In fact, it seems kind of crazy to me that, upon reflection, I realize that most of the people on this website are probably pretty happy with who they are.
Maybe I'll make a post of my own about this. But as long as people are volunteering things that we'd change about ourselves, for me, it'd be everything. I'd be someone else.