I have figured out what is missing in my life
I have figured out what is missing in my life.
I know that is a bold statement. But seriously.
Mid-way through a 3am 6 hour Felicity marathon, it hit me. My life would be better if I had a soundtrack. If every time I was down, there was music playing. Or if my theme would come on every time something significant was happening. A soundtrack just gives meaning to everything you do.
Seriously though, I think movies and television have brainwashed me to expect depth and meaning from every one of my interactions, and when I don't feel that depth, and I don't see a why, it gets me down. On the screen everything has meaning. And that's why I love dramas. Dawson's Creek. Dead Poet's Society. A River Runs Through it. Everything means something. Every look. Every experience. Except that now, I have unfair expectations about what I expect from life.*
I keep thinking of the scene from Four Weddings and a Funeral when Hugh Grant is talking to a friend of his about love. And the friend says,
The truth is, unlike you, I never expected the thunderbolt. I always just hoped that I'd meet some nice, friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and settle down and be happy.
Don't get me wrong the thunderbolt is the way to go. It just seems like you'd have a lot higher chance of happiness if you had the same attitude as Hugh Grant's friend. Probability-wise. And I think this can be applied to more than just love. Expecting the thunderbolt to happen in every aspect of your life is exhausting. Work. Family. Friends. Significant other.
I mean, do you know anyone that has fallen in love at first sight? Thunder bolt city?
But once I think about it is just as sad to not hope for it. Anyway, the point is that life should mirror movies. But until that happens, I think I am going to be constantly feeling like something is missing.
Maybe I should just start listening to my ipod more. You know. So I can have that soundtrack.
\* Interesting thing to note though. People are never happy in dramas. So why do I compare my life to theirs when looking for value?
I think I may have already posted about this idea before. Oh well.
11 January 2007 02:23am UTC • 737 views • 6 comments
Tagged with meaning, hope, discontent, movies, tv, life
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6 comments
Peon Peetie
11 January 2007 06:07am UTC
you're right. you should listen to your iPod more. the beatles and bob dylan will always be there for you. and if you don't get some sort of thunderbolt listening to neil young, then you have cause to worry about the thunderbolt theory
Boatswain The Fool
11 January 2007 02:35pm UTC
Perhaps, whenever something significant is happening, or when you want something to be more significant, play the same song. Or, better: whenever you're about to ask somebody out, have two songs playing, one in each ear, the sad "Well, here's the thing, Benjamin..." song and the "Seeing you lately has been like being struck by lightning... in a good way" song. Depending on her answer, pause one of the songs. Or better: instead of headphones, just have two speakers, one on each shoulder, so that the girl can know how you feel too.
Also: I am definitely a thunderbolt-awaiting fool myself, though common wisdom has it* that part of the problem is that we humans are essentially hard-wired to think that things are better elsewhere (the "grass is greener" syndrome). So, even a thunderbolt will start to make you wonder, "Was that really the thunderbolt, or just, like, a passing storm?"
At the same time, though, I agree that movies give us a bit of a messed up perception of reality, especially romantic comedies,** which often end at the beginning of a relationship, as if a really good relationship has a "happily ever after" tacked to the end of it. Take Pride & Prejudice:*** in reality, that relationship would probably have some serious problems in the future, but the text implies that the actual relationship is not what is meaningful. Rather, the characters are only worth talking about during the chase and the subsequent thunderbolt.
Perhaps, then, what we should really start doing is looking for thunderbolts in our everyday lives rather than sitting patiently, hoping that they come down to us like manna from heaven. Either that, or we should start fluttering about the world, trying to make thunderbolts happen in people's lives, like a kind of metaphysical "Tic and Arthur vs. The Dastardly Doldrums" ... or something.
You should stop listening to me. For. Ever.
* The phrase "common wisdom has it," in this context, is meaningless. Much like my life without the song "Boll Weevil" playing every half-hour.
** Before I am hanged: I do love romantic comedies... a lot.
*** This next bit is going to be so extremely vague that it might make you bleed internally... but only a little bit. On the other hand, because there are some who haven't read/seen Pride & Prejudice, revealing anything about the story would be an offense worthy of the worst kinds of punishment... I am sorry to make you bleed, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the sake of science.
The Anonymous Poppy
11 January 2007 05:13pm UTC
Ooh, interesting thoughts, Benji and The Fool.
The thing about soundstracks, you know, is that they aren't there when the filming happens. They're laid in later, after the film has been completely edited and finalized. My point is that you can only really have the sad music playing when you're sad, the theme music playing when something significant happens, etc. when you already know what's going to happen. Or if you add it in later after the event. And a kind of big point of life is that unexpected things happen.
Although I think The Fool is right, constantly wearing headphones with a different song playing in each ear will probably solve the problem of needing a soundtrack to accompany you when you ask someone out....
In terms of thunderbolts. I think you can't really build a relationship on them. Here's something that was said by Governor Adlai E. Stevenson of Illinois, who was the Democratic candidate for president in 1952 and 1956. Apparently, he was a great guy and would have been elected if he hadn't been running against such a popular opponent (President Eisenhower). Anyway, in speaking to an American Legion Convention, Stevenson gave this statement about patriotism. He said that what we need "is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime."
Thunderbolts would be nice. I do believe strongly in love at first sight, even though I have never experienced it. But the thing about them is that they last for a second, and then they're gone. Fun, bright, firey, exciting, scary -- gone. No one commemorates the 37th anniversary of a thunderbolt. I'd rather have steady dedication and commitment, even if it is a little tranquil. And it's a trade, I know, but I'm just not sure you can have both.
And there is actually a little bit at the end of P&P, a few paragraphs, I think, about the "happily ever after." How happy they really were, for instance, and the positive influence that the combined Darcy and Bingley households had on Kitty. And anyway, movies and books stop at the hapy beginning of the relationship so that there's something we can write fanfiction about, of course!
Anne, Pirate of Literary Theory
11 January 2007 05:16pm UTC
Well spoken, Sir Boatswain.
Me, I have the really gross and unromantic take on love as espoused in M. Scott Peck's "The Road Less Traveled."
I think that love is not a feeling. Crushing is a feeling. Crushing in thunderbolty. Being "in love" is a feeling or state of being.
(I have done the thunderbolt thing. It, like most electrical storms, died and left me with some degree of zappy trauma.)
I think your actual love is an action, not a state of being. It's an act of courage, an act of maintaining your own self while promoting another's growth. To tenuously extend my metaphor, love is tending the garden that was watered by the storm.
Anne, Pirate of Literary Theory
11 January 2007 05:17pm UTC
Oh, and I want a filmic montage with accompanying soundtrack. That's what's missing in my life. Preferably an 80s movie style "training" montage or something.
Cabin Boy Farluffo
16 February 2007 04:52pm UTC
i'm loving that note about how people are never happy in dramas, and how you sometimes compare your values with theirs. i related much.