Neural Tension
I don't like using the word 'depressed' to describe my downs, as I know there are people out there for whom the word 'depressed' means something entirely different and more perpetual.
However, I think it is safe to say that last week I was feeling 'depressed'. The usual signs are not being able to get enough sleep and watching a lot of TV. Aside from work, all I mostly did last week was sleep and watch episodes of Saturday Night Live, Gossip Girl, Entourage and Parks and Recreation*. The cause for all this was the backpacking trip I went on two weeks ago.
As I've talked about many, many times (here's the first mention) on this website, I've had a persistant injury for the last 2½ years. This injury prevents me from doing things that I love, most notably running and backpacking. It basically challenges a large part of who I see myself as.
I've been to two physical therapists, and tried the advice of basically anyone that was willing to give it. And while I was still able to do things (like run the Bolder Boulder last year (and beat Erik!—I'm allowed to say this because he is going to for sure beat me this year)), nothing has been able to make it go away, and none of it has been able to allow me to backpack.
Well, this year, after getting more physical therapy, I thought I was making progress. I was walking every day and starting to increase my mileage.
Then I went on the backpacking trip two weeks ago and the debilitating, leg wrenching pain returned. My companions and I weren't able to reach our destination.
I was completely discouraged. To say the least. Discouraged in the way where I didn't want to think about it or do anything about it. I just wanted to give up.
I don't think I went on one walk last week. I might have walked the wifey to school once or twice.
Well, that was last week.
But this is a whole new week! New week, new slate! This weekend, I decided that I shouldn't give up. That I can can do anything! Which is good, because the parents, the wifey and I are planning on hiking the Inca Trail in May. So, I'm running out of time. And that is not something I want to miss out on, or painfully limp through.
So, why the sudden turn around? Well, a) I got tired of watching TV and b) I started to think about how happy being active makes me, and I'm not ready to give up on that.
If I'm not giving up, then just continuing to do what I have been doing isn't going to help. I need knew advice, new ideas and new suggestions. I need professional help. More of it, that is.
And the wifey really came through for her hubby. Last week she asked one of her professors for some advice on choosing a physical therapist in the Denver area, and described my symptoms. Well, they sounded interesting enough that the professor offered to take a look at it.
So, on Tuesday, I went into the PT lab on campus and in front of any students that wanted to watch (about 15), one of the most awesome physical therapists ever did a full evaluation on me (If you'd like, you can read the full history of the injury that I sent him).
Even if my wife wasn't studying physical therapy, I would still think it was completely amazing. By doing a series of tests on my legs, my feet and my back, a physical therapist can figure out what parts of my body aren't working right and see if enough clues add up to figure out what the problem is. And then by strengthening or stretching the right muscles, voilà, you're fixed! I say the following without exaggeration, I think physical therapists can do more for helping people live happy lives than almost any other profession I know of (but obviously all medical fields help in different, important ways).
Now, like I said, I've been to two physical therapists before. But I never did it right. Normally, you go to physical therapy for 6 weeks or so and they see you, evaluate you, and then monitor your progress and change their recommendations as is needed. However, what I've done, is gone once or twice, gotten some exercises, and then stopped going. Then I would do those exercises as best and consistently as I could. But apparently whatever is wrong with me wasn't just a one visit problem.
Well, not this time. I'm getting a physical therapist and I'm going to see them for as long as it takes (starting today at 2:30!).
Here's the wifey's professor's theory as to what is wrong (the professor isn't going to be my permanent PT unfortunately, he was just being nice): I have something called neural tension. The nerves in my legs are tight (maybe either from disuse or from sitting at a desk too much) so when I go out and exercise a lot (particularly with a backpack) my nerves get pinched or tired or worn out (or something, ask Keri) and I feel a lot of pain. A LOT.
This is something that hasn't been suggested before, so it means we're not just rehashing over the same old ideas and solutions that I've already tried. And it also is something that can be fixed. I just need to stretch out my nerves, or technically speaking do some 'nerve gliding'. It also really seems to accurately fit all the symptoms (something a doctor's conclusion yesterday didn't do to my liking, but I needed him to give me a referral so I can see the aforementioned PT).
I've always thought I had tight hamstrings (and I still do, but they aren't the only thing to blame) but apparently when I try and touch my toes, it is my nerves that are preventing me.
Now, this whole idea is just blowing my mind. When I think of nerves, I think of super thin connections all over my body, sort of like a spider web connecting everything to my brain. Connections that are just there, but not things that really take up space. I've never thought of nerves as something that could be substantial enough or strong enough to prevent you from touching your toes, or as something that can be stretched and manipulated like muscles. But it is true, nerves can be huge! Check out the sciatic nerve (which is one of the nerves that is causing problems) on the Google Body Browser (an absolutely amazing website). I labeled all the candidates nerves for you guys. It's bigger than the arteries!
The human body is an amazing, subtle thing. To think about all the things that have to happen in order for us to walk, from producing energy to getting oxygen to burning energy to all the muscles that have to work in unison and finally to the brain that makes it all happen. It's incredible. Really incredible. And the fact that we (as a species) are making sense of this magic is again itself incredible!
Now when it comes to the human body, and all that complexity, I'm learning that finding the answer or fixing the problem isn't always simple. So, neural tension might not be the actual answer, or the whole answer. I realize that. But I'm feeling very optimistic. All I need to do is follow through consistently on what the PT's in my life tell me to do, and never give up.
I'm going to regain my previous level of fitness, and then I'm even going to surpass it. Then I'm going to go hiking, a lot. I'm going to finish the Pacific Crest Trail. I'm going to start running again. I'm going to beat last years Bolder Boulder time (just maybe not this year). I'm going to run the Leadville 100 (I don't care how slowly I have to do it). I'm going to destroy Satchel at badminton. I'm going to start playing ultimate frisbee again.
I'm going to be frickin' free.
One step at a time though!
* Entourage is surprisingly really good. I thought I wasn't going to get into the main characters, but they are likable and the plots move along quickly and are interesting. Highly recommended! I didn't really like Parks and Recreation. And Keri wouldn't let me watch a lot of Gossip Girl but it seems pretty ridiculous and addicting.
7 April 2011 08:18am UTC • 308 views • 21 comments
Tagged with injury, physicaltherapy, depression, optimism
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21 comments
Shiver Me Timbers Teiler
7 April 2011 02:36pm UTC
YES!! Goodluck Benjamin and don't give up!!!
Erik the Redish-orange
7 April 2011 03:25pm UTC
I just happened to stumble upon this great blog post about how incredible the human body is specifically with regards to running. You probably should have linked to it when you were talking about how incredible the body is. But, since you missed that opportunity I am taking it!
Swordsman Satchel
7 April 2011 09:36pm UTC
Bring it on!!
Ariel Swordfish
8 April 2011 02:39am UTC
Sounds a bit like a problem I was having a few years ago. I was a bit heavy at the time (as heavy as I get), so I think that was causing the strain. Alas, once I got back down to my normal weight, I was fine!
Swordsman Satchel
8 April 2011 06:31am UTC
Are you calling Benjamin fat?
Dread Pirate Benjamin
8 April 2011 07:37am UTC
Ariel Swordfish! You had mysterious calf pain, too? I'm glad to know that I'm not alone! I'm also glad to hear that mysterious calf pains go away and don't plague people for lifetimes!
Maybe we should start a 'Mysterious Calf Pain' club... We'll let Cabin Boy Farluffo join even though his mysterious leg pain (near his calf) is most likely shin splints. And Sailing Master Keri, too, even though her mysterious shin pain (near her calf) was most likely caused by a stress fracture in high school (at least that's her current theory).
Anyone else want to join?!
Dread Pirate Benjamin
8 April 2011 07:40am UTC
And yes Satchel, I will bring it!
Erik the Redish-orange
8 April 2011 02:00pm UTC
I developed a mysterious shin pain that is clearly in my shin and not very close to my calf yesterday while running. It feels better this morning so I'm hopeful it will disappear as mysteriously as it appeared.
Can I still join?
Dread Pirate Benjamin
8 April 2011 02:34pm UTC
Hmmm... you don't seem to be taking our club very seriously!
Erik the Redish-orange
8 April 2011 02:40pm UTC
Keri gets in for shin splints, but I don't! Sounds like you're not taking it very seriously.
Dread Pirate Benjamin
8 April 2011 02:42pm UTC
I was at least pretending that her pain was near her calf! You said yours was no where close!
Dread Pirate Benjamin
8 April 2011 06:46pm UTC
I've decided Erik, that I think you should be let into the club. Any club members disagree?
Sailing Master Keri
8 April 2011 06:54pm UTC
Sigh, I guess so!
Dread Pirate Benjamin
8 April 2011 08:07pm UTC
Well, Sorry Erik, Keri disagrees!
Sailing Master Keri
8 April 2011 08:58pm UTC
I wasn't disagreeing! I was hesitantly agreeing that he can be in the club.
Erik the Redish-orange
9 April 2011 02:33am UTC
Well, maybe I don't want in the club after all. My shin felt fine today!
Meesch the Feesh
9 April 2011 03:06am UTC
I had really bad cramping about two years ago when I started running consistently. I tried stretching it out, but could never quite get the right muscles. I finally went to my friendly Google and started looking. Between that and Sir Erik the Redish-Orange, I found a few stretches that worked. I still sometimes cramp up there, but I whip out my trusty stretches and it helps. I don't know if that counts for admission, since it isn't a permanent injury, but for a few weeks I could barely walk. And it was in my actual calf, unlike some people who shall remain nameless (unless you read the comments above...).
Dread Pirate Benjamin
9 April 2011 05:38pm UTC
Well, that's fantastic Meesch! I'm glad that happened because now we have another member in our club!
Ariel Swordfish
12 April 2011 08:21am UTC
Erm, well.. my pain was more located around my knee. I guess I misunderstood. Don't know what it was, but alas.
Dread Pirate Benjamin
26 April 2011 06:46am UTC
Ariel Swordfish, don't give up! It might have been the same thing. When my pain is at its worst it feels like it is behind my knee! On a day to day basis I would have an ache in my calf. I don't know how/if they were related...
We might have had the same thing!
Dread Pirate Benjamin
26 April 2011 06:47am UTC
Ariel Swordfish, I'll show you my nerve glides exercises when we do the Bolder Boulder together this year!