Nostalgia's a bitch
I am going to bed at 11:30 tonight. that is pretty good. I am hoping to work that down to 11pm. But that might be difficult because I am a social creature and not all my roommates go to bed so early. But the goal is the bed at 11 and awake and on a run at 7. How long do you think this schedule will last? 2 days? Maybe three?
I just spent some time looking at old high school friends on facebook. And it depressed me. I looked at a few people that I was really close to. People that I hung out with all the time. Now I don't talk to any of them except the occasional 'hi' at party.
It made me want to send some of them an email, you know say hi. But we all know that a) I am a terrible correspondent and b) they can't give me what I am looking for.
I would look through their profiles looking for me in some way. Looking for some sort of sign that I had affected them and their lives and left a lasting mark.
I don't like the idea that I am just a passing personality. I want people to remember me and remember me fondly. I want to participate and cause upon those around me.
High schools was so long ago. I know, only 4 years. But really millenia. Who I was and who I am now are now very different. And if people were to look through my facebook profile they wouldn't get what I am looking for either.
It just makes me sad that people who were very close to me once can be so different. And can have moved past what we had.
It makes me sad that I have too.
19 September 2006 04:29am UTC • 655 views • 3 comments
Tagged with sad, regret, nostalgia, sleep, schedule, highschool, facebook
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3 comments
Carpenter Courtney
19 September 2006 12:41pm UTC
I do the same thing, although probably on a smaller scale, since I wasn't extremely social in high school.
If it makes you feel better, you've made a lasting impression on me, and I learned a lot about myself when it came time to "compete" for our job--particularly, I value friendship and camraderie way more than money. :)
Completely in love with Benjamin
19 September 2006 04:45pm UTC
I think you might be surprised at the people you've affected. You can never really know what type of impact you make on people, but that's not to say that it isn't there. I just recently got a message just saying hello from someone I went to highschool with who I wasn't close friends with, and who I haven't spoken to since highschool. It made my day that he even thought to send me one. Anyhow, I think that even though people change alot from highschool, you are always a product of your past experiences and everyone you've ever spent a significant amount of time with is important in some way.
Peon Peetie
20 September 2006 05:46pm UTC
the fact that you have a cult following of some 40-odd pirates alone is enough to make me believe that you've had a pretty strong affect on lots of people. or the fact that my mom still talks about your salsa dancing, a year later, as if it were the best time of her life. or, see number five.