Nothing like friends to make you feel better about yourself!
So, our very own Swabie Scabbie (Blair) stopped by last night to deliver some birthday cookies to the wifey and we got to talking about his current progress through medical school.
Just last week he was studying one thing (neuro?) and then this week something else (internal medicine?) and then next week he'll be at something else entirely (emergency?). Then in a few weeks he's going to study emergency (some more?) in Peru. And I might be exaggerating the timeline a little bit there, but that's what it feels like. He's doing something new and cool all the time. And on top of that he's learning really interesting stuff that is also incredibly useful to the world. Makes me think of my own ambitions to be a doctor.
But even more so, it makes me insanely envious of Blair. His life seems fantastic. And my life seems boring.
Then I think about Omer, working away at Google, the programmers paradise.
I could go on with all my friends.
That's the problem with having the best friends in the world (no, I'm not kidding, I really do, and I'd put mine up against yours, any day of the week!). They sure can take the steam out of your sails. Compared to them, what am I doing? Staring at a computer screen all day, slaving away for other people, while my own dreams sit ignored and neglected on the wayside? Woo.
Thanks, friends.
19 April 2011 05:38pm UTC • 211 views • 9 comments
Tagged with friends, life, work, school, doctor
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9 comments
Comrade Courtney
19 April 2011 06:18pm UTC
Aw, Benj, I feel your pain. I read about what people are doing, and I think to myself (this a long thought, so you might want to get some refreshments and take a bathroom break before proceeding),
"Yikes! I can barely understand my own research, and I spend hours a day poring over books and being miserable because my theorems won't magically come true, and I have pretty much failed as a wife, and I'm totally sick of the one cat which makes me a terrible cat parent on top of the bad-at-marriage thing, and I wish I had more time to have fun, and I wish I liked teaching enough to just pursue that instead of the whole PhD thing, but I'm tormented by math and I can't give it up or stop thinking about problems, so I must be an addict of the most pathetic sort, and I don't even drink that much beer! Grad school was supposed to have lots of beer! And oh yeah, my friends are becoming doctors and lawyers and social workers and Google coders and artists and actors, and they're hiking and camping and climbing and biking, and I'M JUST SITTING HERE, ALL THE TIME! ARRGHHH!"
And then usually it devolves into madness or tears or a beer (because even though grad school doesn't have *lots* of beer, it definitely has some). But hey, at least I'm not gainfully employed in a cubicle somewhere. ;)
Cheer up!
Erik the Redish-orange
19 April 2011 06:56pm UTC
Benj, at least your married. And don't live with your parents.
I don't want to hear it.
Shiver Me Timbers Teiler
20 April 2011 03:27am UTC
You have so much to be thankful in life! Like Keri and your friends/family and cats. But you're still young, so why don't you try more stuff (easy said than done)!
Ariel Swordfish
20 April 2011 08:49am UTC
You could always ditch them and find some loser friends.
P.S. Courtney, I believe you should head over to the chemistry department if you are looking for more alcohol. It always seems to be around over here!
Dread Pirate Benjamin
20 April 2011 03:35pm UTC
That's a great idea Ariel Swordfish!
Sorry guys! Talk to you later!
(And Teiler, you're the one that is still young at a scant 19 years of age! We don't want any of that youthful optimism around here!)
Erik the Redish-orange
20 April 2011 05:56pm UTC
Ugh. Youthful optimism is the worst.
I need some friends who are old, grumpy, single, and total losers. That will help me feel better about myself!
The Anonymous Poppy
22 April 2011 05:09am UTC
Well, what do I do for 45+ hours of my week, starting at ass-o'clock* in the morning? Pretty much stare at a computer screen, slave away for my paranoid, scatter-brained boss, all in the interest increasing his company's efficiency at selling a product that I'm ideologically opposed to promoting, while my own dreams and interests must be squeezed into the few spare hours I have each evening before I have to reset the alarm to start again the next morning.
I mean, at least you like the work that you do (in theory, if not in practice).
Now I feel like I'm whining and saying my pain is greater than yours or something, and I really don't want to do that. I just feel left behind and out-achieved by my friends, too. I really have no idea what I would be doing if I could choose anything. I'd probably choose to be a more creative person, or a more driven one. Or a more disciplined one. But really, without any real direction, it's hard to say that any other job would actually be worse than the one I have now.
Woo.
(* Ass-o'clock == 7:30 am. Sorry for the vulgarity. But waking up that early is ASS.)
Boatswain The Fool
23 April 2011 06:06pm UTC
I'm not going to deny it: I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
That said, I get jealous of friends too, since all of you are so amazing. Here's a small list off the top of my head, in alphabetical order, of the things about which I get jealous [1]:
* April's commitment. I still can't believe she finished Teach For America. And, the way she seems to have her life pretty well figured out - both what she wants to do and how she wants to live. And, obviously, her stupefying intellect.
* Benjamin's enthusiasm for learning new things and his resulting jack-of-all-trades-ness. Oh, and his ability to just pack up his life and be elsewhere for a while. And, relatedly, the fact that he works as a consultant, so he can stop working or work for other people or at least start a new project pretty quickly.
* Blair's clear way of thinking, his work ethic and the resulting unbelievable amount of knowledge he has. Also, his deep laugh and how often he uses it. He always seems to enjoy living his life quite a bit. Oh, and of course, the fact that he fixes people.
* Courtney doing research, actively furthering what the human species knows. And, relatedly, that she knows so much and has such a talent for mathematical concepts (and yet, she is still extremely well-read). Oh, and of course, the fact that she is basically famous in the math world from Brown Sharpie.
* Erik's running, how much he loves it, how much he does it, and the fact that he gets to share his joy with other people.
* Jenny's ability to somehow turn any activity into an exciting adventure, and her gumption for continually experimenting with things to do, make, and eat. And, like Blair, the fact that she fixes people.
* Joy's ability to bake the most delicious cookies in the world. Also, despite the difficulties it causes her, the fact that she has her own business. It sounds like a huge hassle in some ways, but it also sounds freeing, and I don't think it's something I'd ever have the courage to do. Oh, and her love of traveling.
* Keri's way of easily interacting with people and especially of bringing people together. I think that one of the reasons I don't have very close friends in California yet is that there's no Keri around to start Buffy Night. Also, her casual intellect, the way that she is super smart without forcing that fact down your throat when you talk to her. And, once more, like Blair and Jenny, she fixes people.
* Mike's ability to ingratiate himself with everybody, the comfort he has meeting new people, joking around with them, and eventually having them fall in love with him. Also, his devotion as a friend, the way he regularly expresses his love of his friends (and even more so when he is drunk), and not just when those friends are around. And, his ability to create beautiful art.
* Peter living in China for several years -- a) the fact that he could do that, b) how many places he has visited while being there, and c) that he now has experience with many cultures I know almost nothing about. Also, I can't describe it, but he's way cooler than the rest of us.
* Poppy's reading, the amount that she does it, and the amount of joy that it gives her. Also, her capacity for comfort and enjoyment of sleep. And her commitment to her ideals and decisions even when they lead to an unconventional life.
Wow. Sheesh. I seriously have the best friends.
Oh, and that reminds me. I'm jealous of everyone who lives in Colorado because of everyone else who lives in Colorado.
[1] Sorry if you're not on this list, or if I didn't list something that you think I should be jealous of, or if my jealousy makes you uncomfortable. I love you. You are the best.
Dread Pirate Benjamin
26 April 2011 06:40am UTC
Well, I appreciate all the replies people! You've all now convinced me that I have the best life ever!
Though, really, even though I think the tone of the post was pretty low, I don't actually feel that way about my life. I'm always going to be wishing I was doing something else, that's just the sort of person I am. But I've made my choices for a reason.
I like (just like Omer mentioned) the flexibility my work gives me (so I can go to Canyonlands or Machu Picchu or the Wallowas or Yosemeti or Portland whenever my wife is free). I also, like that (for the most part) my job goes from 9 to 5, and on weekends I don't have to think about it. I like that I have an income to pay the bills. I like that I'm not roped into a year or many years worth of work. I'm hired on a month by month basis, so, there is always the hope that I won't be working next month. (though, I'm really not all that crazy about the actual work)
I love my wife (hi Keri!)! I love our cats (even though it is a pain and sad to travel and leave them at home). I love my friends.
That being sad, I am truly jealous of Courtney and Shiver Me Timbers Teiler.
Courtney is on her way to a PhD which is a golden ticket to the world of teaching. Which I think is my dream job. Problem is, at this point in time, I don't think I'd be mentally prepared to do the work for that.
And Teiler is on his way to becoming an architect. I'm not sure why I never really pursued that path. I loved the on CAD class I took in high school. And love day dreaming about designing houses. I just love design.
And as far as you are concerned Erik, I think you are the same way. You joke about the state of your life, but you've made those choices for a reason! You've chosen a job that allows you to do the things you want. So, no matter how much you complain, I'm not going to feel sorry for you! I know that your current status is the one you want! And if you really don't like the choices you've made, it isn't too late to change!
The rest of you though, you're stuck.
Also, Omer, I really like that at the beginning of your comment, you basically said your life was perfect. And I appreciate the effort you went to, but with those sort of things, it is inevitable that people are going to get their feelings hurt. I mean you said wonderful things about me, but some of the things you said about other people were also really nice. Why didn't you say those things about me? :P
And Poppy, I would definitely choose to be a more disciplined person, personally speaking.