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I've been meaning to write this post for some time now, but everytime I want to write it, either, I was just a host or just a guest, and I didn't want anyone to think I was complaining about them. Fortunately enough Keri's roommate was a host recently for someone I don't know, so I figured there was enough separation for me to write this.

For the rest of this post I will be talking about being a host or guest at another person's house for any period of time between 1 night and 2-3 weeks.

Being a guest or being a host in this situation is difficult. All too often am I hosting someone or visiting someone and I am just exhausted all the time. Visiting with friends should be fun, not exhausting. So, what follows is my list of rules for making this go better.

For the guest:

1. Plan on entertaining yourself. This is the most important rule of the whole bunch. Do not show up at a friend's or aquaintenance's house and expect them to entertain you. Or just hang out with you 100%. Or even be able to hang out with you at all. I am sure you guys want to see each other, but one of the biggest causes of exhaustion is feeling the need to make the visit be awesome. If you plan on making your visit awesome without the host having to do anything, then the host can worry a whole lot less. Plus, then you can't be disappointed.
2. If you are there for more than 2 meals, you need to help pay/make/contibute to these meals.
3. You will be assigned a sleeping area. When you are not using them, all of your belongings should be in that area. I.e. Don't leave your stuff lying around your host's house. If you are sleeping in the living room than you should put your stuff back in your suitcase when you are done, because you officially have no area.
4. The host shouldn't have to do any extra work because you are there. This means they shouldn't have to do your dishes, or clean up after you, or parent you.
5. Don't do extra chores. You don't know whether that knife can go in the dishwasher, or that they compost all their waste, or that if you use the washing machine on the extra rinse cycle it floods the basement. You are a guest. Presumably this is your vacation: relax.

For the host:

1. Plan on entertaining yourself. When I am staying at other people's houses, I find it exhausting if I don't get some alone time to spend on my computer. I need that time. Also, once again, when the guest is entertaining themselves they can relax a little and they won't feel like they have to be tons of fun and make the visit awesome.
2. Don't over host. If you offer to do something for your guests and they decline, don't do it anyway. This refers to cooking large or fancy meals and other ways of doting on people.
3. Be up front about what you expect from your guests. Particularly about your plans, house rules, and expectations. "I'm going to be working all day Monday, so you'll need to find something to do." "We go to bed early so please no loud noise after 9." Etc. Etc. The guest should never feel doubt or confusion about what they can and can't do.

That's all I got for now. I'm sure there might be some disagreements, (I know a number or people for which number 5 for the guest would be hard). But these are my rules. So, maybe, to avoid sounding like I am the supreme ruler of the world, I will change the title to, "Guidlines for hosting or visiting me".

20 April 2009 09:27pm UTC • 182 views • 3 comments

Tagged with rules, guidlines, lists, visiting, guests

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3 comments

1. Peon Peetie

   21 April 2009 12:48pm UTC

   wisest thing ever said: "fish and visitors smell after three days"

2. Robert

   27 April 2009 04:05pm UTC

   So I just moved to a small house, and I've got a guest bedroom now. Unfortunately this is still in Kansas, but if you ever wanted to extended visit Kansas, that's available.

3. Dread Pirate Benjamin

   29 April 2009 02:40am UTC

   Be careful what you offer! I'll just take you up on that! (though, probably not anytime soon, my schedule is full till October!)

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