thescruffypiratedotorg

rules of engagement

I am in a piss poor mood. Absolutely terrible. and have been for pretty much the last couple of weeks. I just don't seem to have any patience for anyone.

It is unfortunate (and I think this goes for practically everyone in practically all circumstances) that though I am easily agitated only 3 or 4% of the people I know will see this. When around people I don't know very well or don't feel very comfortable with I am on "Benji" behavior. Benji behavior is me being enthusiastic about everything, being approachable, being stress-free, responsibility free. The people I know get to see the angry me, the brooder me, the me full of self-doubt. While really the people I know are the ones I want to hurt the least and like the most, they are the ones that get to see all the terrible sides of me.

Anyway, I present to you, dear reader, rules of engagement for interacting with me. If you follow these simple rules I will love you more than you can possible imagine. By presenting this as a list of things that you should to while interacting with me, the list comes off as rather self-centered and needy. Do this, do that. Don't do that. But if you follow these rules while interacting with anybody they will love you. Especially number 3. Furthermore, These are rules that I am trying to live by as well, so these should give you quite a bit of insight into how interact and react to people.

  1. "please be careful with me, I'm sensitive, And I'd like to stay that way" - Jewel

    This is a lyric that I often quote because it is so true. I am terrible at taking criticism. I consider this my worst flaw. I am learning to deal with this, but as a general rule if I feel like I am being criticized by you I will close up like a clam.

  2. I had a revelation recently. It really is quite obvious, but oh well. I only recently became accurately self-aware.

    I tend (90% of the time) to feel about others in a way that I think they feel about me. If I think you love me, then I will love you back. If I think you hate me, I will hate you back. Though it is presented in a different light, this boils down to the exact same thing as number 1.

  3. Do not, under any circumstances, in any situation, no matter how well you think you know me, make fun of or complain about Shakira. You don't have to like her (though that helps more than you can possibly imagine), but by god if you make fun of her... If we are driving in the car and I put a CD in and sing along and enjoy it and you say it is crap, I will hate you.

  4. Be excited about things I am excited about. I will do my best to be excited about things you are excited about. I will often call people "party poopers" and this is what I am referring too. I will be the first to admit that I am a terrible party pooper. But I only recently realized how really terrible of a thing this is, and am trying to do a lot better.

  5. Do not under any circumstances tell me in seriousness that I should do something. Or that I ought to do something. Or that I have to do something. "I don't got to do anything," (line from Dirty Dancing). I will only want to do the opposite.

  6. Do not, after having read this, say to me, "you know Benjamin, you are sure not following rule number such and such." I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect. I get tired, I get cranky, I get irritated. I know when these things happen. So don't remind me.

Obviously these are impossible to do all the time, or nearly impossible (because some people do manage to do them all the time). So with the exception of rules 3 and 5 they are more like guidelines.

Alright, go on! Go out and make friends... with me!

14 February 2006 09:04pm UTC • 324 views • 4 comments

4 comments

  1. Slade

    15 February 2006 12:20pm UTC

    Couldn't you just say "don't contradict me!" and be done with it?

  2. Dread Pirate Benjamin 1

    15 February 2006 01:47pm UTC

    Slade, watch it!

  3. Dread Pirate Benjamin 1

    15 February 2006 02:08pm UTC

    and, really if I was going to summarize I would just say be excited about everything. But I will post about this, which is a whole nother topic in the near future.

  4. Boatswain The Fool 2

    15 February 2006 08:26pm UTC

    You know, Benjamin, you are sure not following rule number six.

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