Saying Goodbye : thescruffypirate.org

Saying Goodbye

So, recently I decided to write a blog post for this website that should be posted in the event of my death. Now, I realize this sounds a little morbid, and I assure you that this was in no way some sort of suicide note, I just didn't like the idea of not being able to say "good bye".

What has most surprised me however has been other people's reaction to this. Most people sort of scoff.

So, I'm opening this up to you all. What do you think? Is it weird? Creepy? Would you want to do it? What would you say?

5 May 2011 02:05am UTC • 208 views • 5 comments

Tagged with death, postmortem, questions

5 comments

Swordsman Satchel

5 May 2011 02:54am UTC

If you do do it, it seems like you would need to make a new one periodically to keep everything up with your current views and beliefs. What you might say now is subject to change and you wouldn't want an outdated note for something as important as your death... Would you?
Erik the Redish-orange

5 May 2011 01:22pm UTC

I agree with Swordsman Satchel that it might be good to update such a post periodically. But I think it's a great idea! Why not? What do people scoff at?
Meesch the Feesh

6 May 2011 12:11am UTC

I definitely think it is worth writing the note. Whether you post it is up to you. I am trying to be truer to what I really think and feel, and telling people what you really think will do that.
Dread Pirate Benjamin

9 May 2011 07:15am UTC

Yeah, I definitely think that it is something that would need to be updated from time to time. Though I think the thing to do is to not 'update' it but start over from scratch. I think if you start from where you were before you wouldn't get as fresh of an outlook. And seeing how things change over the years would be interesting. Sort of like my interviews project.

I'm not sure what people scoff at. I asked my parents when they responded in sort of that way (scoff isn't necessarily the best word, but it is the best I can come up with right now) and they said mostly that they didn't like thinking about it. So, I think that is part of it. It is an uncomfortable thing to talk about. Or think about. I don't like thinking about any of you dying, and I hope you feel the same about me!

I think the other reason it might be 'scoffable' is that it is sort creepy. You're dead, you're gone, but you're still saying something. Someone (I don't remember who) compared it to leaving a video to be played with your will. I think that sounds creepy. You're dead but you're on screen saying new things. Out loud.

But being someone who likes to be the center of attention, and who likes to be apart of everything, it feels weird to not be able to say goodbye in someway. So, I'm glad I have something. Though, with it being the absolute last thing you're going to say, there's a lot of stress about making it absolutely perfect.

I originally got the idea from soldier blogger who died in the Iraq war. Though his death was much more probable.

Recently also this cancer patient blogger's 'last post' showed up in my feeds.

Just in case you wanted to read some other people's efforts.

Also, no one offered any thoughts on the sort of stuff they would want to say. Which, I guess makes sense. If you are waiting to say it till after you die, why would you want to say it here now? I mean, I didn't offer any insights into what I wrote! Though, I'd be willing to to anyone that asked. I'm not sure there's much interest in that, though. :)
The Anonymous Poppy

14 May 2011 05:29am UTC

I'm interested! I think this is an extremely interesting topic, and it's cool that you're doing it. And I think the Death Post (is there a better name for this? That's what I'm calling it in my head) will become even more meaningful and your life goes on! Like, I think that it would be incredibly cool to see how the post changes as your life progresses, particularly as your responsibilities change (as you become a parent, etc.).

I would even suggest posting the old version of the Death Post whenever you re-write it. Maybe not if there aren't any substantive changes, so that we can all still be surprised by your last words when you do eventually pop your clogs. But it could be considered a neat way of metaphorically closing one chapter in your life and starting the next one. Planting a marker in the road, so to speak. If you wanted to think of it that way.

Personally, I don't think this is something that I would ever do. For several reasons. I think I'd actually like most of my stuff destroyed or donated beyond the reach of anyone who knew me when I die. I'd prefer to leave as few marks on the world as possible than go out of my way to create more of them, and more lasting ones. I also always regret the things I say. Old blog posts are so embarrassing, right? I'm sure that when I'm dead I'll be beyond embarrassment, of course. But I just have such a conflicted relationship with that record of who I was in that exact moment existing at all (yes, this feeling is despite my several LiveJournal accounts, facebook, and Twitter) that I feel an extreme distaste about leaving one permanently that (presumably) captures who I was shortly prior to my demise.

And then there's that "past caring" thing. Whether there's an afterlife or not, I really don't think that what I leave behind will matter to me, either way. Ultimately, it's up to my survivors to deal with my death (both personally and publicly) however they think is best. I bet that whatever I'd say would only make it worse, somehow. Weirder, or harder to deal with, or I'd end up saying just the wrong thing and I'd mess them all up. If it's not going to matter to me, then I should try to do what would be best for them. Which I think is probably just keeping my mouth shut.

Those are just my feelings, though! I don't mean to say that I don't think you should do it, Benj. This sounds like the kind of project that you'd be all over, really.