The Limit
I recently read Norman Maclean's, Young Men and Fire about the Mann Gulch Fire and disaster. In it Maclean talks about what an elite group of individuals the smokejumpers are. You have to be very physically tough to do what they do. Not many people can do it. I actually happen to know someone from high school who tried to become a smokejumper (the captain of my soccer team my senior year) and who (if I remember correctly) didn't make it. And he was very, very fit.
When I read about a group of people who are physically tough, or an activity that was particularly hard, I don't think, "Wow! That sounds really incredibly difficult! I would never want to do that." Instead, I wonder how I would have done. I wish I was there. Literally. So, I could actually hold myself up to the people involved and say they were more or less capable than me. And I don't think I've ever thought that I couldn't do something. I don't mean to say that I think I can do everything, I just don't think there is anything I don't have the potential to do. It may not sound like much of a difference, but I think there is one.
[As an aside, this goes for anything. I hear about bad weather, or tough tests, or classes, or hard games, hard trails, dangerous ski routes, and all I want to do is get out there and try it for myself. The only exception I can think of is climbing Mt. Everest, that just sounds like it sucks.]
So, it was with no exception that I wondered how I would have fared when I read this description of Navy SEAL training. I highly recommend that article, the training sounds incredibly intense.
A new evolution we had to pass was the 50-meter underwater swim. At the pool, Instructor Stoneclam said, “All of you have to swim 50 meters underwater. You’ll do a somersault into the pool, so no one gets a diving start, and swim 25 meters across. Touch the end and swim 25 meters back. If you break the surface at any time, you fail. Don’t forget to swim along the bottom. The increased pressure on your lungs will help you hold your breath longer, so you can swim farther.”
I lined up with the second group of four students. We cheered the first group on. “Go for the blackout,” some of us said. It was a new way of thinking that would influence future activities—pushing the body to the edge of unconsciousness.
When it was my turn, I hyperventilated to decrease the carbon dioxide in my body and decrease the drive to breathe.
Maybe it is silly of me, but this didn't make me thank the heavens that I wasn't in the Navy SEAL program, it made me want to try out. I think of myself as capable of anything, and I'd like to prove it.
Now, you may think of me as being incredibly cocky for being so self-assured, and you'd probably be right. But here's the thing, with the exception of these last two years (but now we're on the road to recovery), I've never not been able to physically do something I've wanted to do. I've never failed. So I don't know what my limit is. Up until now, I've had no limit.
One of my good friends (and neighbor from Portland), Maureen, claims she only has one regret in life. Which I think is quite the claim. I have tons of regrets. Tons. Some of them small, some of them huge and overwhelming.
One of my regrets from high school was not running track.
I obviously was not going to choose cross country over soccer, but I had no sport in the spring, so could have easily done track. But didn't, mostly out of fear and insecurity. It seemed like everyone on the track team knew each other well, and knew the coaches well, and knew the other teams well, and knew what they were supposed to do, what all the events were, and what made you good at those events. And I didn't know any of that. And I didn't think they wanted me. And I didn't think I was good enough. Now I realize that they want everyone, but I didn't know this at the time. It was less scary to stay home and hang out.
The thing that is interesting about running (as compared to other sports that involve more skill and strategy (and yes I realize running requires skill and strategy, but it is different than soccer, baseball, basketball, football, etc))) is that the results are rather unforgiving. You either were fast enough or you weren't. There isn't as much room for excuses. I wish I had ran track so I'd know how fast I really was.
I want to know what my limit is. And hopefully, over the next few years as I become more of a runner, I'll be able to tell you, without excuses, what that limit is. Unfortunately, I'll always have the excuse that I spent a good part of my most capable years sitting on my ass.
Anyway, doesn't anyone else have this drive to know what their limit is? Or do any of you already know?
8 July 2011 11:41pm UTC • 161 views • 1 comment
Tagged with thelimit, exercise, potential, fitness, regret
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1 comment
Ariel Swordfish
10 July 2011 07:35am UTC
I really liked this post. I could appreciate your thought process. It WOULD be really interesting to try out to be a NAVY SEAL, though I don't think I would be willing to dedicate the effort to training.
In regards to your question, I often feel that my mind is the only thing that isn't limited. Not to say I'm a genius or even a particularly intelligent person, but I love learning and I think with enough time I could conquer any subject. On the other hand, I love playing sports and being artistic but despite my efforts, I have never been very good at either. Its like my brain and my body are always two steps out of sync with one another. It also seems to affect me in the chem lab, as I am continually breaking glassware and spilling everything. I am realizing that it may be because I try too hard. I think that unless I get over that, I will never know my true potential.
A bit of rambling, but a good post to inspire it!