Why I sit down to pee
Yes, this is about peeing and bathrooms and urine and all that stuff. If that sort of stuff grosses you out, look away!
A few years ago I sort of moved into an apartment with my wife to be and her good friend Sarah. And by "sort of moved in" I mean was living there full time for over a year. But I'm not sure if it was ever official. Anyway, I digress.
As I was the only person with a penis living full time in the apartment, I was a little worried about the inevitable mess that comes from peeing standing up. Even if your aim is perfect every single time (or if you aren't perfect every time a little toilet paper handily takes care of any mishaps—and trust me those mishaps just happen sometimes! Every thing is lined up and ready for success and then bam! You've peed on the wall. It's really quite frustrating.) the force of urine hitting the water causes microscopically small particles of water to bounce up and land on the sill or worse yet even further out onto the floor. This just happens and you can't see them. But what happens is these microscopically small drops (okay maybe they technically aren't that small, but they're pretty small!) add up over time and then one day you go into the bathroom and you look at the floor and the toilet and they are just dirty. And cat hair or human hair or whatever it is sticks to the dried urine and it is just in general not something that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
And being the only guy in the apartment, I knew that when this inevitably happened I would be the only one to blame. Which I didn't like the sound of one bit!
So, I started peeing sitting down. That's right, when I was at home, I never peed standing up like I was genetically evolved to do! Gasp!
And I gotta tell you, I loved it! It is amazing how much mental energy we men waste aiming. If you sit down you don't even have to be awake. You can just do your business without paying the slightest bit of attention to anything! And better yet, if it turns into a number 2, no adjustments are necessary!
After a little while I found myself sitting down when I went to friends' houses. I didn't want to be responsible for any mess there either, and like I said, it is just more enjoyable peeing sitting down.
Nowadays, it is a rare day indeed when I pee standing up. Every now and then I'll just plain forget my new ways, but it is pretty seldom.
The first exception to this is public restrooms. Public restrooms gross me out beyond all belief and my main goal when I go into one is to touch as little of the restroom as is humanly possible. So if you think I'm going to sit down in there when I don't have to, you're crazy!
The second exception is when I'm out running or backpacking and there's no place to sit. And let me tell you! Boy am I glad I have a penis then! What women have to go through to pee outside seems like a major pain! I mean, just the other day at our race we were surrounded by people and the lines to the bathrooms were really long, so I was able to wander off a short ways and "stretch my calf" and subtly take care of business. Very handy!
Aside from being a more enjoyable peeing experience, the bathroom stays cleaner and doesn't have to be cleaned as often! Wins all around!
Anyway, I highly recommend all my friends that currently pee standing up on a regular basis try sitting for a week or two and see how you like it!
Obviously one exception to this sitting down recommendation is peeing in the shower. Can you even think of anything more enjoyable?! So my recommendation for peeing positions is this order: shower first if possible, then sitting down, then standing up!
24 January 2012 10:20pm UTC • 89 views • 1 comment
Tagged with peeing, bathrooms, cleanliness, recommendation
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1 comment
Sailing Master Keri
25 January 2012 05:07am UTC
Boy, I didn't think it was possible, but you followed up your last post with an even better post! I love it! Thanks for your contribution to a cleaner bathroom! On another note, I am very jealous of males when it comes to public restrooms and peeing in the outdoors. You guys are so lucky!