Recent Blog Entries (page 2)
2 February 2010 04:14pm UTC
Well, I disappeared from TSP. Again. I'm sure we're all getting used to it by
now. I'm sure we're all also getting used to me saying that I'll be better
about not disappearing in the future and then me not actually doing that. But
I'll be better about it, I swear!
I wish I could say that this last disappearance was because I was off
rebooting. But unfortunately my computer usage hasn't slowed down.
It has been 21 days since I last posted. I wish I could say that I thought
about you. But I didn't.
I wish I could say that this wasn't because I don't love you all. Because I
don't.
Heh. Mostly kidding. I have missed every last one of you!
Well, what has happened in the last 21 days?
- I went to Oregon once for my anual MLK weekend trip
- I went to Utah once for a physical therapy interview (the fiance is
applying for school!)
- I haven't finished my work with Dan, yet. But I think we'll get all these
loose ends tied up in the next week.
- I've become obsessed with barefoot running.
- I'm even more resolved to quit my computer addicted ways.
And that's about it!
How have everyone else's Januaries been?
11 January 2010 06:48pm UTC
★ ★ ★
Well, I think 2009 is the year you could argue that I sort of became an
"adult". With the typical use of the word. No school wonderlands, one job
throughout the whole thing, AND a serious relationship.
(Let's not kid ourselves though, it just looks that way)
2009 had three major themes:
- Being injured
- Working
- Keri
Without a doubt the most frustrating/depressing thing about the whole year
has been this nagging knee/shin injury. It never goes away, and
it seems to infect the rest of my body. But my parents
to the rescue! They got me to see a physical therapist in October and we
are on the fast track to success! Now my complaints are mostly down to
some plantar fasciitis, which should keep getting better as long as I don't
play Wii Fit too much!
I worked all of 2009 with my friend Dan as apart of first Empty Garage
Books and then later as apart of All Natural Bully Sticks.
And while I love Dan, I didn't really enjoy the work. A full year of web
development only led me to this post on why web development isn't the job
for me.
And the thing I regret most about the year is definitely getting engaged to
my fiance. All she has done is make me miserable. And I hate
spending time with her. And she's a horrible match for me. And she's a
really mean person. And she kind of smells. Seriously guys, she stinks.
And did I mention that she's a mean person? Ugh!
(Just kidding! She's the greatest!)
Other thoughts about the year:
- I'm getting tired of driving back and forth between Colorado and Oregon.
- I don't spend enough time outside.
- I don't think it is possible to have enough kittens
- Going bald isn't fun, but in the end isn't too bad
- Rock climbing is really fun
- Swimming is sort of fun
- Cold showers are fun, as long as it isn't cold out
- I don't read enough
And that's about it!
But as we all know, we live in a world that is binary: either black or white,
good or bad, apples and oranges. We can't have anything in the middle.
You're probably dying to know if I gave the year a thumbs up or a thumbs
down. So, without further ado...
The year definitely got a thumbs up! All in all it has been a great year.
Three cheers for 2009!
27 December 2009 08:56pm UTC
Recently, I have been lamenting the fact that many long time readers and
commenters have stopped coming to TSP like they used to (I'm looking at you
Robert,
Courtney,
Blair
or Lisa). I think there are
two possible explanations for this.
- They got tired of reading what I have to say.
- It is hard to remember to come to TSP
And it quite obviously cannot be the first one, so it must be the
second one! Last night I decided I needed to fix this, so without further
ado (and inspired by Peter), I give you:
TSP email notifications!
Yes, that's right, you can now get spam an email whenever I
post! This should make it easier to stay up to date with what is going on
in my very, very interesting, fascinating and envious life!
*applause*
To signup is sort of easy (sorry there isn't a web form!), you simply send
an email to add-me@thescruffypirate.org, and you're all set!
27 December 2009 11:49am UTC
★
This post has been a long time coming, and is sort of an appropriate
follow up to last night's post. This is another post in my series of
posts where I discuss a particular topic.
I have said time and time again that I don't want to do web development as
my job. And when people ask me why, I always say, "because I like it too
much." This answer makes sense to me on a gut-level, but doesn't seem to
express my feelings properly, based off of the strange looks I get every
time I say it. So, this post is an attempt at explaining why I don't like
getting paid to program.
Now, I've talked at length before about why I like programming.
In a nutshell, my personallity is particularly inclined towards this
activity; I like building things, I like logic, I like things that are hard
and I like learning new things.
However, there are some things about my personality that are not good for
web development as a job.
I am not good at doing things for long periods of time. My attention span
is about 3 weeks. This is why the block plan at Colorado College was so
good for me. After 3 weeks I usually change gears and try something else.
But a job doesn't care if you are interested. X is due by Y and that's all
that matters.
I don't like to finish things. Or more accurately, I really like to start
things. I like starting projects and figuring them out, but the
mundane act of polishing off every little detail is very hard for me.
I don't do well with work where I am left to my own devices. The job that
I enjoyed the most (and I'd say did the best at) was working as a
receptionist in the CC dorm buildings while I was an RA. With that kind of
job your task is clear: When people come to the desk, you help them out.
If I am left to my own devices I procrastinate too much or get easily
distracted. With web development, someone says, "I want a job" and then
three weeks later you are expected to say "Here it is!". But it is hard for
me to be super productive the first two weeks. Now, you could say that I
just need to grow up and learn to stay on task, which I could probably do
with a lot of effort. But I don't think that is playing to my strengths.
I'm better suited for other kinds of jobs, so why try and force a square
peg into a round hole?
I do not respond well at all to stress or responsibility. In two ways. 1)
responsibility makes it so I can't enjoy the activity. I can't tell you
why, but I can tell you about the many programming projects that sounded
fun and were fun right up until people were counting on me. It is like a
switch is thrown. I just immediately stop enjoying it. And 2) my gut
reaction to stress is to ignore it. Not solve it. Which isn't very helpful.
I have seen these patterns time and time again from being an RA, to my
distinction project, to being paraprof, to working with Dan, and so on. It
has happened consistently enough that it is no longer a pattern it is just
a behavioral trait. So, not only am I just plain bad at doing stuff that
has a lot of stress, but I have high expectations for myself and when I am
not meeting those expectations I get even more discouraged, stressed,
useless and miserable. It really is a viscous cycle.
And finally, I love web development. Now this might seem a little bit
strange (the fact that I love something means it is a bad job for me), but
let me explain. I think about web development projects that I want to do
all the time: On the PCT (or any other backpacking trip for that matter),
while driving, during dinner, while watching TV, while talking to my
fiance. I plan projects. I day dream. Web development for me is
something, that when I am away from my computer I can't wait to get back
home to get on my computer and read about it, and play around with it, and
try things out. But if I do web development all day for work then when it
comes time for me to not work, web development is one of the last things I
want to do. This has one major side effect: It starts to creep into the
time when I need to be working. So even while I try and stay on task, I
find myself thinking about other stuff, or researching other stuff. Or
really quickly trying other stuff out. Which means I'm not getting the
work done that I need to get done.
I think my reaction to this XKCD comic titled "Academia vs. Business"
is pretty telling. Both of those sound absolutely awful.
If web development is a no-go then what will I do, you ask? I have three
ideas:
- I'd like to try construction at some point. Seems like it could
be fun.
- Some sort of retail job. I'd get to interact with a lot of people on a
daily basis. And I would get paid to be excited about things. I like
being excited about things! Preferably this retail job would be
selling outdoor gear.
- High school teacher. This is a bit more of a long-term idea. I'd
prefer college, but I hate research, so that isn't going to happen.
Plus, I do think high schoolers are a really fun age to interact with.
The grading would be hard for me though.
26 December 2009 09:24am UTC
★
Let me describe a typical day in my life for you. I get up and get on my
computer around 9am. I catch up on news right away, which typically takes
me about an hour. Then I get down to programming. I'll sometimes have
lunch around 1:30 or 2. My fiancé gets home around 4:30.
Sometimes we go for a run. I then program till dinner. Thet which point
I eat dinner (surprise!). Then I program till about 9pm. At that point I
start working on my physcial therapy exercises, core workout and stretching
routine. And depending on how much of that I do, it can take up to two
hours. Then I go to sleep.
To summarize, I am doing a horrible job at spending less time online.
To quote from last March:
I love the internet. I am not in anyway proposing stopping or some other
alternative. I am not going to stop posting to TSP, or reading emails,
or communicating with my friends from other cities, states and countries.
It is just that the inner hippy in me is wondering if maybe I am
beginning to use it a little too much. I can't quite put my finger on the
why, but this fear is starting to creep into my consciousness more
and more.
The converse is, if making websites (and thus being online) makes me so
happy, why stop?
I tentatively think that another one of my goals for this year might be
to spend less time at my computer.
Looking back at this year, I think my time online has only increased, not
decreased. Culminating with my obsession with Node in the
last month.
Well, tonight my family and I sat down to start watching a documentary on
the history of the national park system. And it has convinced me
that I am missing out on things that are important to me by spending so
much time programming.
The problem is, that sometimes while I am programming, this feeling of
sheer panic washes over me and I feel overwhelmed by how much there is to
learn. And how much I want to do. And how smart other people are. And I
feel like the only way I can keep up, stay relevant and not drown is by
doing it as much as I possibly can. All day everyday. And read as much as
I can. Everything in fact. And this feeling of panic seems to be happening
every week these days.
But I'm beginning to resent all that I have been missing out on. There
isn't enough time, and I haven't been using it wisely. I've just
been slaving away at another task.
So, why did a documentary on the national parks make me want to start
programming less?
- Well, the first part of the documentary is on Yosemeti
National Park. Which sounds amazing. And I have never been to the
Yosemeti valley. So, it makes me want to spend more time
outside in beautiful places.
- The documentary talks a lot about John Muir
who would go on long walks through out the Sierra Nevadas. It wouldn't
be unusual for him to "cover 50 miles in 2 days". So, that makes me think
of The Pacific Crest Trail. Makes me want to attempt another go at it.
- But mostly the topic reminds me of two of my favorite authors, Edward
Abbey and Henry David Thoreau. What these two people have to say hits
home like nothing else for me. While on the surface Desert Solitaire
is a collection of stories about the desert south west, I think it is
more about finding what you are passionate about and fighting tooth and
nail to protect that. It just so happens that both Thoreau and Abbey are
passionate about spending time outdoors and away from civilization.
I don't want to disappear into the woods for two years (like I thought I
wanted to in High School). I don't think that would make me happy. But I
do want to simplify my life and spend more time outside and doing
liesurely things. The last time I touched my guitar was over 6 months ago.
I can't even remember the last time I finished a book. Maybe Harry Potter
7, in 2007.
I'm finishing up working with Dan in early January, and I think I am going
to take some time off from programming when I do that. Probably 2 to 4
weeks. Just to try and reboot while I figure out what my next job is
going to be.
And I can't wait.
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